My Journey with Triple Positive Breast Cancer

  On my way to church! I attended church in person yesterday. 😊 It felt good to worship with other members of God’s family; I even kept it together…mostly. (Music doesn’t count, since it often makes me cry.) I say mostly because after the service I chatted with a friend. Correction: I planned to chat with a friend. But you know, that’s not so easy right now. No, I wasn’t swarmed, and no, no one said anything triggering, I’m not entirely sure why I teared up, I just know that it’s become my new normal.  I’m not impressed.  I can only attribute it to an overwhelming feeling of gratefulness, knowing that these people are praying for me.  For me. 😳   I’ve never needed intercessory prayer before. Well, I mean I did, but I didn’t ask for it, and my life was certainly not hanging in the balance! So the way things are going, I’m hoping to be able to actually chat with people sometime after Thanksgiving. I think I’ll set November 15th as the date I hope to have a norm...

  I’m thankful to report that my recovery from the last procedure is going well. 😊 If I overdo things, “the wasps” threaten to return, but I’m generally very pleased with how little pain I’ve had. I still find my lack of endurance annoying and spend too much time holding down the couch, but then I remember that I couldn’t even walk on my own a month ago and I’m grateful to be doing so well.   At the beginning of my cancer journey, my husband read the biblical story found in Mark 4*, of how Jesus calmed the storm while crossing the sea of Galilee with his disciples. Looking back, I must say that the past several months have felt not too dissimilar to a storm. Just as a “furious squall” came up, so did complications with my second biopsy resulting in a hematoma which delayed my surgery, and then, of course, with my surgery itself, where my lungs decided to take up underwater basket weaving instead of breathing, necessitating a 6 day stay in ICU. 🤕 As the patient who doesn...

  So the surgery part is behind me now. I think. I hope. 🙏 My surgeon is pleased with the results, as am I and the wasps that were trapped in my clothing yesterday have escaped. Okay, fine - there were no wasps, though it certainly felt like it! 😬 Just a word of advice...when they ask you if you can feel any pain BE HONEST! This is not the first time I've gritted it through; during my mammogram-guided biopsy, only half the area was actually frozen, however, I managed just fine and thought that yesterday's surgery would be similar. It wasn't. It was gross. 😖 There's nothing quite like feeling the needle pierce your skin and the material sliding through the layers as the surgeon waves his arm like he's wielding a bullwhip. Why do they take such long strips of the suture material? It was like he was conducting a symphony! 😁 Anyway, the stinging feeling is quite normal, given the area operated on, and is usually due to nerve damage, which heals quite quickly. My pai...

  Tomorrow at 8:45 am is my third surgery. My emotions are like a mixed bag of Halloween candy right now, everything from yummy Reese’s pieces to questionable jelly beans covered in lint. 😖 However, even through the tumult of all these emotions, the indescribable peace remains. I was a bit of a mess yesterday, imagining the worst-case scenarios, but today I’m at peace. I am 100% convinced that whatever happens, it is within God’s plan for me. Yes, even if things go sideways again.  I stumbled across a song I’ve had on my playlist for a while and it just seems to say everything better than I ever could. Here’s “Truth I’m Standing On,” by Leanna Crawford: Truth I'm Standing On by Leanna Crawford [Lyric Video] * Scared, oh I thought I knew scared Now I'm so filled with fear I can barely move Doubts, I've had my share of doubts, but never more than right now I'm wondering where are You? Here on the edge of fall apart somehow Your promises find my troubled heart. Good, I be...

"In this family, no one fights alone." Trigger warning: This post contains a lot of mushy, gooey, often messy emotions. If raw authenticity gives you hives, you might want to give this post a pass. 😊 I don't hold back! I heard from a friend today who will be joining me on my cancer journey; she was recently diagnosed with breast cancer. I think my heart broke a little, knowing what lies ahead of her, though not everyone has to complicate absolutely everything in their life, the way I apparently do. 😊 Just to be clear, I am not looking for companionship on this journey!  I would have been happy to walk it alone, following in the footsteps of those who have gone before me and have welcomed me to “the club you never wanted to join.” Having said that, I am more than willing to walk alongside anyone who needs support on their own cancer journey. For this post, I thought I’d go back to try to explain the emotional part of the journey, as experienced by me, a Mennonite not ver...

  I love our property, but it doesn't take care of itself!  Hubby has become a gardener this year! The good news is that Dr. Olson will be able to buy a new boat from my case alone. The bad news is that Dr. Olson will be able to buy a boat from my case alone. Honestly, does everything in my life have to be complicated?👧🏼 I've been accused of being a drama queen, but this is getting ridiculous! 🤷🏼‍♀️ Actually, the good news is that I no longer live at Covid Cottage. Everyone but me is testing negative, and I’m almost there. My boys sailed through it with minimal symptoms, and for them, it was truly just like a cold with a little extra fatigue thrown in. Hubby struggled a little bit more, but for someone who has missed exactly 2 days of work in 27 years, Covid was basically just an inconvenience, though he did have some issues with fatigue. Marigan, as per norm, was the sickest with a high fever for several days, body aches including hair follicle pain (Seriously, this ...

  I almost forgot I had cancer. Somehow, in the whole hullaballoo of trying not to die, I forgot that once I’ve recovered from my surgery and ARDS incident, I still have a year of treatment to go. I may have been a bit bummed when I remembered. 😔 I mean, I was supposed to be home by noon!  On the same day! Not a 6 day ICU stay later! Shouldn't I get a bonus of some sort? My hubby asked me if he could get me anything this afternoon (he’s working virtually from home this week) and my response was “a time machine to beam me into next week.” His reply was, “I’d prefer next year at this time.”  But you know, I think that would be cheating. I’m pretty sure there are lessons that I’m going to learn along the way that I would not want to miss, even if they’re painful. And no, I’m not being Pollyanna or trying to sound all noble, I’ve just learned a few very important things in a rather short amount of time.  Ken chose the red geraniums, as his Oma always planted them in fro...