Good News and Bad News (Post #13)
Hubby has become a gardener this year!
The good news is that Dr. Olson will be able to buy a new boat from my case alone. The bad news is that Dr. Olson will be able to buy a boat from my case alone. Honestly, does everything in my life have to be complicated?👧🏼 I've been accused of being a drama queen, but this is getting ridiculous! 🤷🏼♀️
Actually, the good news is that I no longer live at Covid Cottage. Everyone but me is testing negative, and I’m almost there. My boys sailed through it with minimal symptoms, and for them, it was truly just like a cold with a little extra fatigue thrown in. Hubby struggled a little bit more, but for someone who has missed exactly 2 days of work in 27 years, Covid was basically just an inconvenience, though he did have some issues with fatigue. Marigan, as per norm, was the sickest with a high fever for several days, body aches including hair follicle pain (Seriously, this is a thing!), a cough, dizziness, runny nose, and sore throat. We’re just grateful that she hasn’t had Covid previously, as she has been working with Covid patients since early in the pandemic. This particular variant (probably BA.5) is certainly less virulent than some of the previous versions such as Delta, so we’re happy to have held out this long. I had an incredibly mild case, much to the relief of my nurse navigator, who may have said a bad word when I told her I tested positive, and my surgeon, who was not at all surprised to hear that we think we picked it up in the hospital cafeteria, the only place masks were removed. Apparently, BA.5 is everywhere. I was super fatigued for several days, had a headache, a slightly stuffy nose, and an itty-bitty cough; I am so very thankful it wasn’t worse. 🙏
Addition: I think I've figured out why we had Covid when we did! By having it during the time I was supposed to be resting anyway, I now have it "out of the way" so it won't interfere with further treatment. That's my story, and I'm sticking to it! 😁
Now for the less than good news…I just received my post-surgery pathology report. We already knew what type of cancer I have, so that was no surprise. What is a surprise is that I had 6 tumors of the following sizes: 2.3 cm, 1.1 cm, 0.9 cm, 0.7 cm, and two that were 0.5 cm. 😲 They’ve upped the grade of cancer to 3, which is the highest; not what we wanted to see, but provided that the surgeon got it all, shouldn’t really be a concern. Except that he didn’t get it all. 😕 Apparently, I still have a 0.4 cm DCIS, which is basically a baby tumor that hasn’t spread yet. So! My revision surgery is booked for 8:30 am next Wednesday, July 27th. It should take about half an hour and will be done under local anesthetic. I think they’re scared to put me under…as am I. 😏 My surgeon’s assistant told me that I could eat or drink normally, but I assured her that I would be fasting…and praying, of course.
I’ve found myself shutting down emotionally over the last while. I’m not very good at the whole “dealing with emotions” thing at the best of times (Mennonite much?) and these are certainly not the best of times. 😞 So I admit to being slightly annoyed when immediately after getting off the phone with the surgeon (who is on vacation in BC) the “soundtrack” of my life started playing:
Are we downhearted? No, No, No
Are we downhearted? No, No, No
Troubles may come and troubles may go,
We trust in Jesus, come weal or woe.
Are we downhearted? No, No, No
Seriously?!? I AM downhearted, and have good reason to be! This absolutely bites bananas. But then I’m reminded that I can choose to wallow in self-pity, and I am very, very good at this, (though only for short periods, as I get bored/distracted - thank you ADD🐿 ) or I can choose to believe that God already knew about this and again, will somehow work this for my good. (And no, I had no idea what a weal was until today. According to Merriam-Webster, it is “a sound, healthy, or prosperous state, wellbeing.” I could use some of the weal stuff; I’m getting a bit tired of woe.🙄 )
The song is based on Joshua 1:9, where we read:
“Be strong and courageous. Do not be afraid; do not be discouraged,
for the Lord your God will be with you wherever you go.”
If you read from the start of the chapter, the whole thing is basically a cheerleader’s cry of support for Joshua who was taking over leadership of the Israelites from Moses, who had died. God is essentially promising him the same support he gave Moses, which was legendary. 😊
“No one will be able to stand against you all the days of your life.
As I was with Moses, so I will be with you; I will never leave you nor forsake you.
Be strong and courageous, because you will lead these people to inherit the land I swore to their ancestors to give them.
Be strong and very courageous.
Be careful to obey all the law my servant Moses gave you; do not turn from it to the right or to the left, that you may be successful wherever you go.
Keep this Book of the Law always on your lips; meditate on it day and night, so that you may be careful to do everything written in it.
Then you will be prosperous and successful.”
I also find it interesting that even during the times when I find myself being emotionally apathetic, distancing myself from everyone’s feelings including my own, God is still able to break through any barriers I erect, whether it’s through a song on my “soundtrack” or just an almost physical feeling of support, like a cozy hug. I know He’s there and He’s got this. 🥰
Unfortunately, this will bump my chemo treatments which were supposed to begin as soon as next week. They are seriously not messing around! I’m hoping that all goes well and I’ll be able to begin treatment within the next month. After all, this is the 3rd time my surgeon will be going into the same incision (original surgery + hematoma drainage + revision) so my body should be pretty good at healing that particular spot! Now if I can just remember to set a timer when I begin working in the garden, I’m sure I’ll be just fine. I may have weeded for 2 hours yesterday and spent the rest of the day in pain… 😬
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