What I Wish I'd Known Before Surgery (Post #16)

 

So the surgery part is behind me now. I think. I hope. 🙏

My surgeon is pleased with the results, as am I and the wasps that were trapped in my clothing yesterday have escaped. Okay, fine - there were no wasps, though it certainly felt like it! 😬 Just a word of advice...when they ask you if you can feel any pain BE HONEST! This is not the first time I've gritted it through; during my mammogram-guided biopsy, only half the area was actually frozen, however, I managed just fine and thought that yesterday's surgery would be similar. It wasn't. It was gross. 😖 There's nothing quite like feeling the needle pierce your skin and the material sliding through the layers as the surgeon waves his arm like he's wielding a bullwhip. Why do they take such long strips of the suture material? It was like he was conducting a symphony! 😁 Anyway, the stinging feeling is quite normal, given the area operated on, and is usually due to nerve damage, which heals quite quickly. My pain was greatly alleviated by Tramacet (I think I have a new crush...😍) and this morning when I woke up, was completely manageable without meds. Now we wait for our appointment with the oncologist.

So, obviously, I’m not the best person to speak of what to expect during a routine lumpectomy, but I think I can imagine how things should have gone. I also think I’ve decoded what some of the most commonly used phrases actually mean:

• “Home by noon” = Home by any noon, any time within the next week. Leaving at 3:00 pm counts as “before noon” of the following day.

• “Some pain” = The pain will be less than childbirth but more than a broken limb, and yes, I speak from experience with both. You may develop a deeply committed relationship with Tylenol. 

• “You may wish to sleep with an extra pillow” = I currently have 5 pillows in use:

1. My regular Made to Measure latex pillow, for when I’m sleeping on my side.

2. Also necessary when sleeping on my side is the knee pillow with the strap that goes around my leg, ensuring that it doesn’t escape.

3. A third pillow is necessary when sleeping on my side; I hold it tight like a cardiac patient to counteract the effects of gravity. 

4. When sleeping on my back, I use the Face-Saver pillow, which basically wedges my head in position, otherwise, it flops to one side and I wake up feeling either very right-wing or very left-wing.

5. I also utilize a half-round pillow below my knees, like those used by massage therapists, to ensure proper spine alignment. 

It’s a good thing we recently purchased a King sized bed! 

• “You may wish to bring a small bag with lip gloss, ear plugs, and hard candies” = You may wish to bring a small suitcase with: 

1. socks - feet get cold, even in squishy boots

2. a toothbrush - I hadn’t used a manual toothbrush in so long I do believe the nurse found my efforts entertaining

3. a hairbrush - even if I was too weak to comb my own hair

4. earplugs - x 5 pairs as hospital beds are a black hole for small objects

5. non-petroleum based lip balm - my nurse wouldn’t let me use petroleum-based products while on oxygen…what’s a little fire between friends? It’s summer cookout time after all!

6. glasses wipes/cleaner - not everyone will handle your glasses with care

7. gift cards for amazing staff - Seriously. They deserve more than I can repay them, they were so wonderful.

• “Bring a front-opening outfit to wear home” - Bring a mumu. A zippered mumu. You’ll be too exhausted to care what you look like and mumus are comfy. Also, bring slip-ons, not real shoes, which may or may not fit, depending on your current resemblance to a manatee. (At one point I was 40 pounds heavier than I am at this very moment - and it was all fluids. And this was when I had already “deflated!” somewhat! This totally explains why my daughter thought I looked like a blowfish!)

This outfit would be perfect, if it was zippered. 😉

Then again, I didn't require any of this for yesterday's procedure. Hmmm, maybe you should speak with your medical team. 😊